Just Boring Old Me

So for anyone reading this post I want to applaud you for taking an interest in my day to day life, because there is nothing super exciting like Europe anymore, but I found this blog to be a good outlet for me and hopefully reading about my travels motivated you to get out and do something, and if not, I hope you enjoyed them!

I sat here for awhile with a blank page thinking of all of the things I want to touch on, but I guess I can start with what I am feeling. EMPTINESS. Which as a college student, this is a feeling I have grown very close with. College was hard to figure out and being on your own and learning the responsibilities of life, but you want to know whats harder then being on your own? MOVING BACK HOME, which is what I had to do this last semester, and let me tell you, it has not been a piece of cake. I haven't fully lived at home since I was a junior in high school and I struggle a lot having a relationship with my parents (and for anyone that knows me.."struggle a lot" is an understatement.)

I have felt like an outsider in my family for a long time, and I think that sort of forced me to find happiness in other places. Whether that is boys or alcohol I feel like there is a constant emptiness that I am looking to fill.

BUT I DIDNT WRITE THIS TO SULT PEOPLE! I want to tell you how I got over it. I found motivation in other things, and honestly it started with my eating habits. I am not a die hard vegetarian, but in my daily routine i don't eat meat. I will say, I have cheated when I am with friends before, but for the most part I think I do a pretty good job. I am not promoting vegetarian, even though it has helped me so much, but what I am promoting is healthy living. You guys it helps so much in your daily mood. When you look good you feel good! Just finding something that makes YOU happy or motivated is a great start.

I can't post a picture BUT i have the best job ever living with a 93 year old woman. I KNOW WEIRD. I don't live there full time but in the fall semester 3 days of the week I stayed and did 24 hours on and 24 hours off. Since I am a full time nursing student now I only go every other weekend doing 48 hour shifts. I even have my own bedroom there(: Dorothy has altzeimers, and I don't think I have learned more about myself then when I am with her. She married the absolute love of her life at 21, and they traveled everywhere together and the way she talks about him, I can tell they were just madly in love UGH it is so cute. He passed away this summer, but not a day goes by that we don't talk about Doyle. Even if its her confusion as to where he is and why he isn't home for dinner, or about how lively of a man he was, and she loves and misses him, he is our topic of conversation quite a bit. I know about 89% of you read that and think "how does that sound fun at all spending your weekend with an old lady." But all of us can learn something from the elderly. My Papa is now in a retirement home, and when I say he used to do it all HE DID IT ALL! he was the "cool guy" that had all the cool boats, cars, and he NEVER wanted to just sit and relax. He had a stroke and now it is a struggle to even understand him when he talks. Being in Omaha has been nice because I get to go and see him even for just 5 minutes. Walking in and seeing him struggle to get a pudding cup open just makes me want to be there all the time and help him, and in a weird way it just makes me love him more because he did life!! He had so much fun in his lifetime, and he is struggling now (with life and the pudding) but he has his memories and wise words of wisdom that you can only gain from experience. I don't know...ranted about old people for a minute but POINT BEING...they are wise, and we can all learn something from them! Papa is a little depressed being cooped up, and Dorothy cries for her husband every day, but at least they can look back on their life and remember all the great times they had, and thats all I want.

I mean come on..how can you not love him!?

I have so much more I would love to rant about, but I know if these things get to long people get uninterested(: I found this quote that I think describes a lot how I have been feeling so I want to share it with you..

Marilyn Monroe is my gal so get used to seeing her around this place.

I know my life isn't THAT exciting, and I used to look at bloggers who talk about there life every day, and was a little confused as to why this girl thinks her life is SO important that people want to read about it. But this is for ME, and just want to share if you need a little motivation here and there(:

I have SO many other blog ideas about how I'm learning the ukulele, how I budgeted for my trip, recipes, fitness, and BOYS (obviously) and I feel like I could write for hours. I also wanted to let people know that there is a "contact me" tab on here and PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE give me any sort of feedback!

Love you, and call your grandparents<3